Saturday, 29 December 2012

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt so numb? So numb that your tears won't fall anymore? So numb that you just want to think of yourself and let go of all the things that makes you sad. You want to let go of the things that makes you happy, as well.

I want to let you go. Not because of "trust" issues, but because I know that you're not happy anymore. That no matter how hard I try, it always ends up with sadness. I feel the need to give you freedom. The freedom to be happy with others, as well. I want you to feel that you can make your own decisions without worrying that someone might disagree. I feel the need to give you that kind of happiness that only you can find. It'll be much more happier if we have our own lives, if we live for our own self.

I think everything comes to an end. This is just a part of it. Maybe the reason why I feel so numb and feel less of a broken hearted is because I might be doing the right thing. I've been the happiest girl, this year. But I guess, I would be happier if I do the right thing and find myself again. I guess, being such an obsessive planner has an advantage. I did not plan this, but I was always thinking of this. I was always wondering whether to stay or not, even at the happiest times. I was just afraid to expect what would happen next. I guess I am ready, that's why I feel this way. I never really thought I'd be able to stand with my decision. But this time, I'm not crying. Siguro, nauubos din talaga ang luha.  Siguro naubos na. I was born without you, I grew up without you, and I guess I can live the rest of my life without you.


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